As I have noted in earlier posts, the language of the
transgender community is a constantly moving target. While I refer to genital surgery as Gender
Confirming Surgery (G.C.S.) for example, others are now calling it Gender
Affirming Surgery (G.A.S.). As you can
see that acronym isn’t too nice – “have you had GAS yet?”
One of the shifting targets surrounds the language of
sexuality for transgender people. Common
thought is that gender identity and sexuality are not linked, but that isn’t
necessarily so. A National Institutes of
Health[1] study from a few years ago
suggested that of those transgender women who were attracted to women prior to
transitioning, about 60% remained attracted to women after transitioning. Now, is this a change in sexuality or
maintaining one’s sexuality?
I would suggest that the 60% have maintained their
sexuality. But common language does not
support that. By common usage these
people went from “living as” cis-hetero males to lesbians. I fall into that category.
I maintain that my sexuality did NOT change with transitioning,
because I was and still am attracted to women.
So, a queer rabbinic colleague challenged me to come up with something
better. I did what any geek would do, and hit Google. This is what I found: Click here for a great list, including alternative sexuality terms.
In this page, the author suggests that I am a gynesexual.
GYN is the Greek root for woman (It has nothing to do with vagina – VGN is the
root for sheath {e.g. of a sword}). I
have taken that usage on – I was a gynesexual prior to transitioning and I
still am. Others in the community disagree with me and maintain that they are,
in fact, lesbians. That is certainly
their prerogative.
I should also note that my sexuality is about a person’s
gender identity, not their assigned sex.
I am attracted to women, not people with vaginas, and I am not attracted
to men, irrespective of what is in their shorts.
While this language is a starting point, it is hardly
complete. It does not include people who
identify as, or are attracted to, non-binary people (commonly called enbies). One
might say that Pansexual works (pansexual means being attracted to all people,
not as some have suggested, anything...)
What happens if someone is into exclusively enbies? Or if an
enbie is attracted to women and enbies, but not men? The language needs more
work.
Will this catch on? I doubt it. I am not enough of a
trendsetter to cause this to catch. But
I will continue to use this language, because it is the most accurate
description for my sexuality.